Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash
So... I don't have a job anymore. I didn't get fired. My position just vanished, like a rabbit into a magicians hat, and right now I feel stuck. You know that feeling when you see a great magic trick performed. That feeling where you don't know what's going on, and your mind and heart war against each other. Your mind says, "There's no way he was able to cut that woman in half!"
And your heart says, "Bro! I'm looking at two pieces... He actually cut a woman in half!"
I think the clinical term is called denial... LOL
This morning, I had a rush of anxiety, because of all the things that need to be done at work. I was five minutes into thinking through how to accomplish all those things when I realized that those things are on someone else's plate now... But those are my things...
I don't know how to separate my personal investment and sense of responsibility from this job that I no longer have, and this title that no longer belongs to me. I understand that I'm still me regardless of my position, but I am having trouble figuring out what I am supposed to do now. I wasn't expecting to have to change jobs so soon after I accepted this opportunity.
Because I don't know what to do, I've decided to document my experiences. Maybe something that I say will resonate with someone else, and help them through their tough times. So, here I sit, on a borrowed laptop, trying to sift through all my feelings, and hopefully move past what is going on in my life right now. It's time to turn the page, and start a new chapter.