Photo by Wil Stewart on Unsplash
So, Wednesday night (Oct. 4th, 2017) was the day I decided to stop taking narcotic opioid pain medicine. It's been almost 72 hours without the drugs that I have been taking everyday for the last 10 years. I'm not abusing the medication. I'm taking it as prescribed. I'm not addicted or anything, but in many ways those drugs had a real control over my life, and I came to the decision that it was time to take that control back. This decision was part of the inspiration for my last post, Life Through Movies Pt.1. If you haven't read it, I suggest that you do.
I also want to add a disclaimer here. I am not telling anyone to stop taking their medication, or to change it in any way without first consulting a doctor. Luckily, my wife is a doctor, and I have been communicating with here through this entire process, and she has been monitoring me to make sure I'm not doing anything to negatively affect my health.
Ok, with that out of the way, we can get on with the purpose of this post.
I have a few reasons for writing today. The first reason is to bring about awareness for Fibromyalgia. It's an often misunderstood disease that is invisible most of the time, and that means the people who suffer with this disease are often looked at as weak, attention craving drug seekers. It also disproportionately affects women more than men, which means that women who have it are often looked at as "those type of women" who are dramatic, and attention seeking. Those types of unhealthy stereotypes have lead many women to suffer in silence because no-one will believe them. For men like me who suffer with Fibromyalgia, it's often embarrassing to admit that they have a "lady disease". It's not something they feel like they can talk to their male friends about, because "men are tough", and "shut up, and rub some dirt on it". So, again, this leads many men to suffer in silence needlessly. It's also difficult, as a white, evangelical man in America, to claim to be suffering from anything. And, while I agree that in most ways my "white maleness" has afforded me many privileges that muslims, or women, or minorities in America don't get to enjoy, I also know that I wouldn't wish the non-stop, all-over pain of Fibromyalgia on any person regardless of their nationality, sexuality or gender.
I also want to talk about narcotic opioid pain medicine and it's effect on chronic pain symptoms. Just about all the research done in the last 10 years tells us that narcotic opioid pain medicine like the medicine I have been taking, has almost no effect on chronic pain symptoms. The only reason they still prescribe it is because there's not enough money being invested into alternatives, so doctors don't really have any other choice. The only way that narcotic opioid pain medicine helps with chronic pain is that it numbs your brain so that you forget you are hurting. For me, I have welcomed that as an alternative for the last several years, but not anymore. I want to feel the pain, because that means I am feeling something. On pain medicine you are numb. You are in slow motion, and the rest of the world is moving at light speed. I imagine that this is what it feels like to be a ghost. Floating around, trying to affect change in the world around me, but everything misses the mark.
I also wanted to talk about what I'm going through post pain meds. It's kind of like what you see in the movies with people in withdrawal, only it's less dramatic. To the movies' credit I am withdrawing from pain pills and not heroin or some other illicit drugs, so that's probably the difference, but all the shaking, and sweating, and nausea are happening to me.
I want to be an encouragement to anyone with Fibromyalgia. I want them to know that they do have a voice, and that their voice matters. I also want to encourage anyone who feels like drugs or alcohol has an unhealthy control over their life. Seek help. It's out there. It will hurt, but you can beat it.
If you want or need to talk more about these things, or if you feel controlled by an addiction, you can email me at inbox@jeremywoodring.com or find me on twitter @jwood4904 or Facebook at Facebook.com/jeremy.woodring or simply leave a message in the comments.